Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sorry for not blogging in such a long time. Something really bad happened to me over the Chinese New Year period and it made me so upset... but I've now gotten over it more or less. And I have to say that at least one good thing came out of it; my project 8 speech (Use of visual aids) which was presented at yesterday's Toastmaster International Speech contest (Club level) won first prize! Yay.... It meant a lot to me this time round that I was the club champion because it literally contained my life (Mainly about what had happened).
The speech you're about to read is in a raw finished form but basically contained the gist of what had happened. (Glad that my parents are happy with my win. And thanks to all the peeps and contestants; especially Putu, Agam, Chrystella, Shreya, Zhang Lei, Faith and Yuen San who listened to my speech.) Here goes:
It was a bright and sunny morning. After giving a good YAWWNNn, I literally woke up with a big grin on my face: Contest Chair, honorable judges, ladies and gentlemen, that day was CHINESE NEW YEAR! (Flashes ang pow!) It was the time of the year where I get a substantial boost in my annual income from all the visiting! But little did I know that my happiest season of February was crushed (Crush and throw away Angpow) just moments after.
A warning letter arrived in the mailbox, specifically addressed to me: ‘Dear Miss Esther Yap, we regret to inform you that if you do not make the full payment of 2112 dollars and 69 cents within seven working days, we will have no choice but to take legal action against you for this hand phone account was registered under your name. What have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE? (Drops the letter) It was then that I knew my WORST FEARS had finally caught up with me.
4 years ago, I registered a hand phone account for my ex-tutor under my name, simply because she needed a phone line. After all, ‘what’s in a name’ and besides, I knew her for many years now. She WILL DEFINITELY pay her bills on time right? …. It turned out that I was wrong. The character of man can indeed become unpredictable in desperate times. I know that because she chose to run away from her problems, leaving me behind as the guarantor to deal with her mess.
Did you remember how it was when your worst fears caught up with you? The circumstances leading to fear can be very cruel right? (Pause) That day, I just cried; over the betrayal of trust, over my own foolishness, over a HUGE DEBT that has wrongfully become mine! Ladies and gentlemen, in the troubles that beset all of our lives, (Loud urgent tone*) who can really help us?! Who can really accept the mistakes we make? Who can really pick up the broken shards of life, piece them back together and move on?!
For me, I can’t turn to my friends for financial assistance. There’s no point borrowing money from one source just to pay another! I could always depend on my parents to bail me out of trouble. But if I allowed that to happen, I am no better than that complacent and irresponsible person like my so-called friend. In such circumstances, fear can seem really daunting, looming over me, like a formidable enemy threatening to destroy my life. In times like these, I really want to be a coward and run away from it all! Only that I didn’t run when I was afraid. The truth is the only person who can deliver my life from the fears and troubles of my own making was… me.
Despite all the hurts, I swallowed my fears and called the phone company to negotiate a payment plan in installments. Guess what? It wasn’t as bad as I thought as the management was agreeable to my proposal. Initially I was fearful about not being able to make payments on time. But after realizing that fear can only paralyze me when I allowed it to enter my heart, I changed my mind about the whole situation and chose to see my problems, not as obstacles, but as opportunities presented in my life for me to mature and become a wiser person! In the midst of distress, I challenged myself to rejoice when I paid my debt as I know that each settled payment brings me one step closer to my financial freedom.
So far, I have already made my first payment, but unlike before, I have essentially stopped being fearful. Like the birds flying in the air, fear will always be encircling our lives, be it in school where one frets over exam results or at work where one worries about getting retrenched. We can’t stop troubles from flying above us but I’m sure we can stop trouble from building a nest of fear on our heads.
Often, many of us wish for a troubled-free life with no fear. But you know what? That’s not life! Because we will sometimes encounter incidents in our lives that may not go our way. Yet, I believe that we can choose whether to perceive our situation negatively and shrink away in fear, or to embrace our circumstances as a positive challenge that will enrich our lives. So dear friends, from now onwards, join me in taking on life’s exciting battles, because we know that victory is ours for certain when we dare to feast upon our troubles. So … Bring it on!
Yep... that's basically what happened to me. I've learned from my stupidity ... never to be a guarantor again, never to really depend and trust ANYONE regarding money matters. I'm glad that I learned this lesson early because others have lost bigger sums of money in the hundred-thousands and millions.
If any of you still wonder whether I'm in good shape, don't worry. I'm good. God has been good to me. (He gave me favor to win the contest! Yippee!) I count my blessings everyday now and I'm already on my way in getting out of this shit.
Btw.... to Mrs. Jennifer Lee (I'm not going to protect you anymore) .... whom I've really trusted and respected prior to this.... I would say that I'm VERY disappointed that you, who had been a strong influence in my adolescent life, chose to disappear completely without any explanation. Presuming that you have not been shot dead by your OTHER CREDITORS and your son hasn't gotten a heart attack from paying all your debts, I hope, against all hope that you will pay me back what you owe. Feel free to contact me to return all my money. (My number is still the same. I'm still the same.... I won't bite you even after you've done all this to me).
I'm not going to send the cops after you, neither am I going to curse you, nor persecute you. Since you still claim to be of the Catholic faith (Whatever...) I'm not afraid to say that God sees what you are doing and it is not a good testimony really. If you feel bad for me, don't be... FEEL BAD FOR YOURSELF because DaddyGod will make sure that I will never be shortchanged.
Enough said about this tragic- heart breaking saga of my life..... I'm out for now...
3:11 PM
